Wednesday, February 24, 2010

On Your Mark........

Get set.....GO!
And we're off!
This week we are focusing on a couple of new concepts.  The first is Weekly Couple/Family Meetings...novel, I know.  We'll add in Parent/Child Mentoring sessions at some point, but you know, you gotta start slow.
We're also learning the first of four basic skills: Following Instructions, Accepting Criticism (positive and negative) Accepting a "NO" answer, Accepting a Consequence, and Disagreeing appropriately.

Here are the steps to following instructions:
1. Look at the person
2. Keep a calm voice, face, and body
3. Say "okay" or ask to disagree appropriately
4. Do the task immediately
5. Check back (tell the person you're finished)

My personal goals for the week are learning to be assertive and teach that skill through example to my kiddos. We've got far too many aggressive and passive-aggressive dynamics going on here. Also to look for answers/parallels in the scriptures. Staying calm no matter what.  (I've already had a couple of boo-boos, but I'm getting there.)

Here's the rundown:

In my Kitchen: Just made whole wheat bread.  Was out of salted butter, but made do with unsalted butter and a little sprinkling of sea salt....I'm flexible like that. ( Can you eat fresh bread without butter?  Probably, but I'd hate to try and prove that theory) Note: Kirkland Mac N' Cheese, no matter HOW much they claim different, is NO WHERE NEAR to Kraft Mac N' Cheese....sorry but even Western Family Mac N' Cheese is better than Kirkland.....so disappointing...I was beginning to think Costco was the answer to all that was wrong with the world.

With My Marriage: Well, working on setting up couple meetings once a week, and practicing assertiveness.

With the kids:
Had a major meltdown of teenage proportions over the weekend, but held my ground and stayed calm.  Seemed the calmer I was, the more out of control the meltdown became (trying hard not to smile here)....WOW, I had no idea simply staying calm was so effective.
Alanna and Isa are working the elements of the system pretty well, so far.  Ellie is pushing the limits, as is to be expected.  Samm and Gabby are learning how to ask for things/ say things politely....even some grown-ups haven't mastered that one...believe me, I know! Can never start too young.

Around the homestead:
Well, working on making a poster of the Steps to Following Instructions.....what's that  you say?  That everything going on in my home is centered around this crazy "self-government" idea? Why yes, yes it is, thank you :)
Working on getting and keeping the kitchen clean.....haven't had any luck and getting my fix-it-guy out to take care of some little things, so I'm going to try my hand at fixing the drawer under the stove that the kids broke AGAIN.  AND start a dream journal.  Getting some ideas on what I ultimately want to do in each room of my house, so that as I have time, energy and resources, I can slowly turn this house into a home (that I'll probably never end up leaving). Might as well make the best of it. I have to say, I LOVE the Flylady.  I may delete most of her email reminders, and sometimes only say "hmmmm, that's a really good idea" and then delete some of them, but I know that perfectionism is counter-productive and that I only have to do anything 15 minutes at a time.

Inner Man?:
Well, mostly talked about that above....but here's a little story to illustrate my focus....

Once upon a time, there was a boy who ate too much sugar.  His mother, who wanted him to stop, thought that if the boy wouldn't listen to her, then perhaps he would listen to his idol, Mahatma Gandhi.
So she walked for many miles through the scorching heat to ask Gandhi, "Would you please tell my son to stop eating sugar?"
Gandhi replied, "Bring your boy back in two weeks.  I will speak to him then."
Confused, the mother left, then brought the boy back two weeks later.
Gandhi looked the boy in the eye and said, "Stop eating sugar."
The boy nodded, and promised to stop.
His mother of course was grateful, but still confused.  "Why did you want me to bring him back in two weeks?  Couldn't you have said the same thing to him then?"
"No," Gandhi replied...

"Because Two Weeks Ago, I Was Still Eating Sugar!"

 Love and blessings to all!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Amazing Digital Scrap Race #5

I am racing for my life....not really...just my mojo. This is the second year Liz and I have been partners for the ADSR....and I'm LOVIN' it!  It's good to have challenges every once in a while, and these ones, while challenging, are also FUN!
 
  
  
  

I'll try to post credits later, as I am on the run to volleyball!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Big changes a-happenin'.....

Well, I've gone and done it.  I finally made the leap of faith that I'd been fighting with myself over for....oh, you know, a YEAR.  My family needs my attention.  So MUCH so, that I don't have time for other things right now.  So I've decided to close up the Dancing Princess Designs shop, at least until they're all in school and I'll have some time during the day.  It was not an easy decision, it was not necessarily a supported decision, but I have peace about it, and so I know it was the right decision. Even if I have to talk myself out of changing my mind several times a day. 

So here's the rundown:
In My Kitchen: Well, it's clean,...and I have a big crockpot full of pinto beans a-cookin'.  The kids adore Bean Burritos.  I also have some pecans I pulled out of the freezer sitting on the counter....gonna have to come up with something to use those in.....maybe Pecan Tassies....

With Our Marriage:  I made a page for Mario for Valentine's Day....I challenged myself to come up with at least 10 things....and I did it! I can hold my head high, LOL.


With My Children: As mentioned, I am now a full time and then some mom.  It will be hard, but I have confidence.  I came across a book that I knew my family needed, and so I bought it.  It's called "Parenting a House United: Changing Children's Hearts and Behaviors by Teaching Self-Government" by Nicholeen Peck.  WOW....can I just say WOW.  Applying the  principles taught in this book have made an improvement in my home already, in the less than a week that I've had it.  Most of them have been in my own heart as I try to master Self-Government so I can more effectively teach it, but I've seen improvement in other family members as well.  Can I just say....It's well worth the time to read it. 
Although there are differences among our family members in our "Family Vision" I have faith that time, and love, and Heavenly Father, can make the changes in our hearts to bring our family to a place where we are united...in vision and purpose. 

Sophia is heavily invested in Volleyball (and she's not the only one).  Her team took 13th place out of 111 teams at a recent Las Vegas Tournament.  They have a local one this week, and then after a week off, they'll be in Denver for a Qualifying Tournament (whatever that means, LOL).  


Alanna has holes all over her mouth.  She's lost so many teeth at once, that she's got a fun new look.  She is improving her Spanish, and many times will respond when spoken to, without even realizing that she's made the transition, and without hesitation over the words.  



Isa turned 8 last week, and will be baptized on the 6th of March.  She has discovered that (like Alanna) she likes to read really big books, so Harry Potter has been a familiar character in the family of late.


Ellie....I've learned (or realized that I already knew) that Ellie's love language is touch.  I can motivate her with hugs, I can calm her down with hugs...it's almost too easy!  I'm still working on the other kids love languages, but I'll get there.  She's been struggling a little, as her school teacher's husband passed away recently, and I think that's been a difficult thing for Ellie to process.  But we're getting there and she's a smarty pants.


Gabby...how on earth am I going to keep this kid challenged?  She can write her letters, she's reading small words, she can spell her name, and she's 3 1/2.  I'm afraid...I guess it's just one more reason why my time is 100% theirs now...with no distractions (well, at the end of the month anyway, when all my store responsibilities are completed).



Sammi-bambo...she's had so much attitude lately as she tries out the behaviors she sees in her sisters. It's been a little challenging, but she's usually pretty easy to coax out of a bad mood.  We're still working on potty training...she knows how to do it, but lacks motivation. We're trying a sticker chart this week.


Around the homestead: It's been a tough few months.  Mario's car died the 2nd of January and we've been operating with one car while we figured out what to do.  This has been predictably difficult.  But we hope to have the Nissan back this weekend, and for things to ease up a little.  I have a huge list of home improvement projects that need to be done, or ones I'd like to have done, as well as a plan to make a daybed with trundle for Isa and Gabby's room.  We found this great blog with blueprints for all kinds of things, and I'm excited to get started. 

My Inner Man: It's been a month of interesting experiences.  Learning to love people whether or not they display loving behavior towards you, learning (even when someone is VERY wrong) to try to see their feelings and/or the motivation behind their behavior.  Learning to maintain a "Soft Voice." I hope that as I perfect these skills, I'll see even more changes occur in my home.  I've read my scriptures and exercised every day so far this week, and am hoping to make this a permanent part of my routine.  It's been sorely lacking lately.  I've also been called as the Primary Chorister, which has been a fun challenge.
Came across this in my scripture study this morning, and it seemed particularly applicable to me of late: Alma 58: 37 and 40
But, behold, it mattereth not - we trust God will deliver us, notwithstanding the weakness of our armies, yea, and deliver us out of the hands of our enemies.......they (stripling warriors) stand fast in that liberty wherewith God has made them free; and they are STRICT to remember the Lord their God from day to day; yea, they do observe to keep his statues, and his judgments, and his commandments continually; and their faith is strong in the prophecies concerning that which is to come.
Emphasis is mine. 

 

One of my fantastic Creative Team members challenged us to make a page about what we like about ourselves.  Wow...talk about hard.  But I did it.  

Spring is coming....I can feel it.  That alone is cause for celebration!
Anyway, look for more blogging, as I chronicle my adventures in mothering 6 dancing princesses....